Dismal Angel Episode 24: I Love You
by AngelExposed
Summary: Rogue is still suffering from the aftermath of the incident with Jared, and Remy is intent on reconciling with Rogue, and he'll do ANYTHING to get her back (Finished, R&R)
1. Chapter 1: Alone

Chapter 1: Alone

             Remy LeBeau stared out from the danger room control annex watching as Scott Summers, the girl who liked to be known only as Rogue, Jean Grey, and Kurt Wagner were midway through a training exercise.  Remy wished to be with them, it had been weeks since he'd had much chance to really practice any of his fighting skills, or anything else for that matter.  He'd hurt his back two weeks earlier, during a confrontation with his adoptive sister which had ended up in an explosion in which a heavy wooden pillar had landed onto his back.  

             Although the pain was slowly going away, thanks to occasional physical therapy sessions and a lot of rest, he wasn't satisfied, and wouldn't be until he freely could be with the rest of the X-Men fighting in the danger room, and not watching them from behind a giant pane of glass.

             He watched, rather intently, as Rogue flipped her away over obstacles and throwing her fists out at anything that came flying towards her.  She looked dangerous.  Remy supposed he had something to do with this – he always did have when it was Rogue and a bad mood.  The night previous, Rogue and Jared had been fighting.  Kitty Pryde had gotten involved, and was attacked for interfering – which was now why Kitty Pryde was recovering in the hospital wing rather than fighting with the other X-Men in the Danger Room.

             "Are you paying attention, Gambit?" Ororo Munroe asked, she gestured to the control panel.  This was one attempt in trying to involve Remy in the X-Men, by teaching him how to operate the danger room properly.  He knew about as much about danger room programming as he did about religion…which was almost nearly absolutely nothing.  

             "Uhm, yes, sorry, Storm," Remy shook himself to his senses, and pretended to – for a moment – watch what she was doing.

             "When the session ends…pulling down this lever here," Ororo gestured to the lever on the panel, "Will slow it down to a stop…if you wish to stop the danger room program instantly, give the lever a very hard pull quickly and it should stop at once."

             Remy nodded, "can I try?" he asked, pretending to make some kind of effort knowing she would get icy with him if he didn't.

             Ororo gestured to the lever again, giving a slow and steady nod.

             Remy took hold of the lever handle, pulling down on it slowly, quite a lot of strength having to go into it.  "Wow…why's this so hard to…pull?" he asked with a pant.

             "Safety," Ororo explained, "Pushing it the other way will increase the exercise danger.  With the lever so hard to move, this makes it almost impossible to accidentally nudge it to overdriven force," she explained.

             Remy pulled the lever down all the way to the bottom, ending the danger room session, he watched as holograms vanished, leaving the X-Men standing in a very plain looking solid metal room.  He stretched, "I think I've had enough learning for the day," he winced, his back still painful.

             "I will teach you more tomorrow," Ororo explained softly.  "6am, remember."

             "Of course," Remy feigned a smile, and saluted her, then left.

             He headed down the elevator, catching Rogue in the hallway just as she had been leaving the Danger Room.  "Rogue!" he called out to her.

             Rogue didn't even stop, she continued to walk.

             Remy rushed after her, "Rogue…hey, stop…" he said softly, he put his hand gently around her upper left arm to stop her, she turned and looked at him, frowning a little.

             "What?" she asked, her voice very bitter, her eyes dangerous.

             Remy looked at her, her cold stare felt as if it were slicing into his flesh, seeing his bare soul with all its ugly truths.  "I'm thinking of going to see Kitty in the hospital wing…I heard she's out of her coma…do you want—"

             "I can't, I have lessons," Rogue remarked, she turned and walked on again, breaking her arm away from his grasp.

             "Afterwards then?"

             "I have to go somewhere."

             Remy felt strange, he hadn't really had this kind of attitude from Rogue in a very long time.  She hadn't been this way the night before.  "Where you going?" Remy asked.

             "None of your business," Rogue said, a lazy and slightly doleful tone spilling from her black lips.  

             "You won't find him…" Remy stood, "Ororo and Logan did a search last night, Chere, he be long gone.  Get on with it," he said.

             Rogue spun around, her eyes wide, "he'll be back!  I'll bring him back!"

             "You want to bring the guy who attacked your best friend back into our home?  So, what, so he can attack someone again?  Maybe this time even you!"

             Rogue looked away, Remy could see at once that there was a slight sign on her face that she was remembering something, he could see that Jared had probably hurt her before.  

             "I don't have to a telepath to know the bastard been hurtin' you when he didn't get his way, Chere…" Remy drew his breath, the thought of Jared having hurt Rogue at all even accidentally made him want to kill him.  

             "It's none of your business…" she kept her eyes towards the floor, her dark makeup against her pale skin giving her an almost ghostly appearance.

             Remy placed his hand upon her arm softly, "Cherie…I…never hurt you like he hurt you…"

             Rogue pushed his hand away, "no, you did worse.  You pushed me away when I needed you the most," she looked at him, her dark green eyes almost teary, she then turned to walk away from him.

             Remy swallowed, a lump coming to his throat, "I need you, are you going to push me away when I need you the most?" he asked.

             Rogue glanced over her shoulder at him, "I have to go, I have lessons," she uttered, then she was in the elevator, and gone.

             "She's been in a bad mood all morning."

             Remy turned to see Kurt standing with his back against the wall, he'd obviously heard everything.  "Were you listening?"

             "Of course," Kurt responded, "Gambit, listen, I know you and me don't talk very often," he said, "and I know it would seem weird for you to ever consider taking my advice…but I'm going to give it anyway," Kurt explained, "stay away from her," he said in a low utter, and then Kurt left too.

             Remy stood alone in the hall wondering how he was going to ever fix this mess.  Sighing, he headed off up towards the hospital wing, and sauntered in.

             Kitty Pryde was lying in bed, school books set around her, a clipboard and paper upon her lap, pen poised as if ready to write something, she looked deep in thought.  Her long brown hair hung loose around her shoulders, curling slightly at the ends, blue eyes staring into space.

             "I see you recovered rather quick," Remy said, "How you feelin' Kitty-cat?" he walked in slowly.

             "Oh, its you," Kitty made a face, "I was hoping it'd be someone I'm at least not mad at," she looked away, her expression full of disdain.

             "Oh, c'mon, Kitty…" Remy walked over and sat on the edge of her bed, "you're still not bitter with me because of the little kiss I planted on you?" he asked in a low voice.

             "Of course I am…"

Remy looked at her in surprise, raising an eyebrow.

"In fact, bitter is an understatement, I'm not bitter, I'm furious," Kitty remarked.

"It was a kiss, that's all!"

Kitty frowned, "jesus, don't you get it, it was you who caused the fight…so this most definitely IS all your fault," Kitty frowned at him.  "I'm LYING in this bed because I stopped a fight that was about YOU.  My brain got scrambled – and still is giving me trouble right now – because of you!  Like I said, YOUR FAULT."

             Remy looked to the floor, "always is," he muttered.

             "Don't start that self-pitying crap with me, Remy LeBeau, I'm not in the mood," Kitty frowned, keeping her eyes away from him.

             Remy looked at her, "this was your fuckin' idea, don't start gettin' all bitchy with me because YOUR idea blew up in your face!" he stood slowly.

             "Y'know, you're right, yes, this WAS my fucking idea, and I, like, TAKE full responsibility for MY actions," she said, "but what I won't take responsibility for is yours!"

             "It was just a KISS!" Remy yelled at her, flabbergasted.

             "You still had no right," Kitty frowned, "and the more I think about it the more I get angry about it!" she clenched her fists around two handfuls of her blanket.  "The only thing you think about is how you can have everything your way.  I've known you a while, Gambit, but this has to be the most mean and manipulative thing you've ever done!  You used her own powers against her!" Kitty tried to hold back on her voice, her high pitched tones probably about to attract more attention in the hospital wing than Remy would have liked.

             "I…"

             "You know what, Rogue is totally right, and I can understand why she doesn't wanna take you back!  You are about as manipulative as she made you out to be…you're selfish, and conniving, and you play with peoples feelings!"

             Remy looked to the floor, he wanted to deny it, but he knew she was right.  "I don't mean to—"

             "Save it," Kitty got out of bed steadily, steady enough for someone who'd suffered extreme trauma to the brain only a night previous.  "I don't want to hear your apologies, because as far as I'm concerned, you don't deserve forgiveness for this," Kitty said, "You used her powers to get back at her for bein' with Jared, you deliberately hurt her – and you used me to do it!"

             Remy raised his eyes as she stepped over to her, the air felt electric, he'd only ever seen Kitty so mad once, and that was the night Rogue had almost died from a deliberate overdose on painkillers.  "It was your idea…"

             "I didn't ask you to kiss me!" Kitty said, "now I have a lot of school work to do today, and I can't be bothered with your bullshit, so just get the fuck out of here before I call for Logan or Hank and have you removed!"

             Remy looked at her, "fine…" He trailed off softly, and left the room feeling very miserable, and alone.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2: Really Does Love You

Chapter 2: Really Does Love You

             Rogue stepped through the hospital wing door after lessons were done for the day, Kitty sitting looking frantic as she read through a book, a clipboard on her lap, "hey," Rogue said in a low voice, she hid behind the white streaks of hair hanging at either side of her face, contrasting against the rest of her dyed black hair that hung past her shoulders now.

             Kitty raised her eyes, "oh…hi," she said, feeling weakened just by the sight of Rogue.  Rogue looked particularly haunting – and perhaps even her expression itself seemed so tragically haunted, as if she were some spectre doomed to forever stalk the earth forced to relive the most painful moments of her life.  

             "How're you feelin'?" Rogue said, her tone slight, almost timid, she stood in the threshold, not stepping in any closer, she hugged herself against a slight chill that hung in the air.  She was wearing an outfit that exposed more skin than Kitty was used to seeing on Rogue.  A top that was barely a bra with a thin black mesh top pulled over it.  A pair of short leather shorts, and ripped fishnet stockings.  Chunky boots only half laced up.  Her make up was thick, and gave her an almost skeletal appearance in the bad lighting of the hospital wing.

             Kitty broke her thoughts away from how strange Rogue looked compared to the Rogue she'd once known, "I…I'm fine, just a bit confused, some things are still a bit hazy to me…for the most part my head is all there…" she explained.

             "I didn't know that Jared could do that," Rogue said, her voice barely a frightened whisper.  Her eyes slightly wide.

             "No one did, Rogue," Kitty closed her book, "It was the least thing I expected to happen," she added hesitantly. "How are you?" she asked, trying to change the subject, she could see from the expression her friends face that it was something she'd been dwelling on all night.

             Rogue shrugged, "doesn't really matter how I feel," she shrugged, "Jared's gone…because you got involved…no one can find him…" Rogue looked away.   "Ororo and Logan looked but no sign of him…as long as he isn't using his powers…Cerebro won't trace him either," she sighed, she walked in and sat on the nearby bed rather than next to Kitty.

             Kitty sat up straighter, "you're mad at me for getting involved?  Jesus, I couldn't just stand there and watch him rip you apart…" Kitty looked at her, "You're my best friend, what kind of friend would I be if I let him hurt you like that…"

             "If you hadn't he'd still be here…" Rogue trailed off.

             "Hold on," Kitty put her hands up in her defence, "Rogue, that guy is a maniac, he was gettin' violent…why the hell were you just standin' there lettin' him emotionally abuse you like that!  You're stronger than that…why let him do that?" Kitty demanded, a little angry. 

             Rogue gave a shrug and looked away, "he doesn't mean to, he just…he gets frustrated."

             "He's a fucking psychopath for crying out loud," Kitty made a face, "he's violent!  He almost killed me!"

             "That's an exaggeration," Rogue frowned, as if all he'd done was tap Kitty on the shoulder rather than phased his fist through her head.

             "Is it?" Kitty scoffed, "My brain got SCRAMBLED, if he'd held on any longer inside my head, I might have been a drooling vegetable today," she reminded, "you don't know the kind of PAIN I felt when he plunged his hand into me, it felt like a thousand knifes were being pierced into my brain!"

             Rogue got up, "he didn't mean it," she said calmly, "he's just upset…"

             "Like FUCK he didn't mean it, he knew exactly what he was doing, Rogue!" Kitty gaped, "I can't believe you're defending him!!!" Kitty said, "Jesus,  Remy might be an asshole, but at least he keeps his hands to himself, Rogue," Kitty remarked, as much as she was still loathing Remy for the previous nights behaviour, she felt that if Rogue was to be with either Remy or Jared, Remy would have to be in favour, at least Rogue would be safe.

             "Are you just trying to remind me of how much you and Remy are into each other?!  As if isn't bad enough my boyfriend took off, now I have my best friend dating my ex-fiance!  God, you jumped on the wagon fast enough, he wasn't even back a day and you were already all over him!"

             "Okay, first of all, you and Remy weren't even engaged a full five hours before you guys split up," Kitty pointed out, "second, you never even technically split up.  All Remy said was he needed time to think, and you never bothered to check if it meant you guys were over, but you jumped on Jared's 'wagon' about three days later," She added, "And THIRD, Remy is STILL in love with you and I would be lucky if I received even a fraction of the LOVE he has for you!"

             Rogue hugged herself, getting up, "love is only a game to that boy," she muttered, "he only wants me as long as there's no real commitment, and when there was he threw it away!"

             "Because you hurt him!" Kitty said, "I warned you and I warned you and you just wouldn't listen, and it blew up in your face like I told you it would, and you're still acting as if it's his fault that he threw that commitment away!"

             "He had me there in a commitment, we were ENGAGED, seems to me like he found the easy way out of it!" Rogue yelled.

             "He was the one who brought the subject of promises and marriage up in the first place, Rogue, why would he bring that up if he didn't want to be committed?" Kitty pointed out, she tried to keep a very calm voice, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. 

             "Because he wanted Sex…he's an addict," Rogue stated calmly.

             "If it were that he'd have found some way to be with you and would have fucked you three ways from Sunday by now," Kitty pointed out.

             "He just can't figure out ways," Rogue made a face.  "And despite it all, ok, it MIGHT be my fault that we got in the argument but it was his fault he drove me away."

             "He regrets it!" Kitty said, "he was upset, he's never been hurt like that before!" Kitty said, "jesus, look at Gambit, he's good looking, and athletic and interesting, he's not the kind of guy girls ditch for other guys…he's the kind of guy who can have ANY girl he wants, and he wants YOU!"

             Rogue gave a shrug as if she didn't care anymore.

             "And he loves you and he's never had to go through that kind of rejection before because he's never loved before, and finding out you had feelings for another guy was killin' him inside, I mean, you know yourself what JEALOUSY is like, don't you?"

             Rogue shrugged again, she didn't want to admit that she did, after seeing Kitty and Remy together so much, she'd begun to know exactly how jealousy felt.

             "It makes you say things you don't mean or do things you didn't mean to do – that's what happened.  Finding out how you felt about Jared overloaded his emotions…"

             Rogue sighed, "You make it sound so simple.  It's not."

             "I know that," Kitty said.

             Rogue glanced towards the door, "Where is he, anyway?"

             "How should I know?" Kitty asked incredulously, she thought it should be obvious she didn't, she was sitting in a hospital wing bed, it wasn't as if she'd just passed Remy in the hallway.

             "You two are a 'thing', aren't you?" Rogue said, her voice sounding like acid, poison to the ears.

             "No," Kitty said, "Wasn't workin' out, there was no spark," Kitty lied.

"You said you loved him," Rogue frowned a little, she was confused now, Kitty had seemed so infatuated with Remy, that it had seemed that might be a match made in heaven if they got together.

"I thought I did…" Kitty said, "but I don't…I can't love him when he just thinks about you all the time…" she explained.  Kitty felt incredible guilt pulling her down, she couldn't bring herself to tell Rogue the truth, not just yet.  "Anyway, why you asking where he is?  You gonna go talk to him?  Maybe sort things out with him?" Kitty asked hopefully.  She yearned for things to be back to normal again in the mansion.

             "I have to give him back this…" Rogue gestured to the necklace around her throat, a silver engraved cross bearing words 'fill my heart with your love' in French.  

             "Rogue, are you crazy, if you give him that it'll REALLY be over," Kitty said, gaping.

             "So?" Rogue shrugged, as if this were something she did every day.

             "You don't want this to be over…you still want him, you've never stopped wanting him, and if you give him that back it WILL be over…no going back.  If you give him that necklace back, its like saying 'I don't want anything to do with you, not even anything to remind me of you'…" Kitty stated, she knew Remy enough to know that if he received the necklace back, he'd be heartbroken.

             Rogue sighed, "I don't care anymore," she sighed, "I'll be better off without him, really…"

             "No, you won't…" Kitty sighed, "without him, you're gonna be empty…and bitter," Kitty said, "you're like that every time you guys have a fight…or break up…you know it, and I know it."

             "I have to go," Rogue headed towards the doorway, her back turned towards Kitty as she was leaving.

             "Rogue, please, think about what you're doin'…he really does love you, as much as he's fucked up about it and as many times as he's screwed up, he still really does love you…" Kitty looked pleadingly at Rogue, hoping her words would sink in.  The thought of Rogue being unhappy for the rest of her life if she gave Remy up was more than she could bear.  
             Rogue felt her eyes water a little, but forced it back, drawing her breath, "I used to feel that same way…used to," she mumbled, "And up until I saw his email this morning…I would have taken him back…but not now," she sighed, and left.


	3. Chapter 3: You Never Do

Chapter 3: You Never Do

             Remy LeBeau was raking leaves out of the front yards of the mansion, despite the excruciating pain in his back, he needed something to take his mind off of things, he needed something to distract himself.  The last remnants of light were shining down, it would soon be evening.  Two Jack O' Lanterns grinned cruelly at him from the porch, he'd almost forgotten how close it was to Halloween, it was only two more days away, which meant it was only three more days until his twenty-first birthday.

             It brought new things to realisation, October thirty-first was the day that Rogue and Remy had first learned about MutantX.  Now, almost a year since that night, and there was still supplies of it on the street.  He only hoped this would die out quickly, now that he'd managed to cut the chemical supply off at the source.

             "Aren't you meant to be recuperating?" he heard a soft voice near his back.

             Remy turned, glancing over his shoulder, surprised to see Rogue standing there, hugging herself against the October chills.  "As if you care," he mumbled, he continued to rake leaves, the pain in his back growing with every movement.  He glanced at her out of the corners of his eyes, she looked more Vampire-like than usual, and Remy found himself wondering if she'd even need to make effort to dress up for Halloween.  

             "Kitty seems to be better," Rogue said, changing the subject suddenly.  She felt very out of place standing there, watching him.  A large sweat-stain formed on the back of his grey T-shirt, and with every moment he made, Rogue could see he was having trouble with.  She stepped down the porch slowly.

             "Kitty is still in a bad mood with me," Remy shrugged, this causing him pain, he made a face, drawing his breath sharply through his teeth.

             "Here, let me do that," Rogue took a hold of the rake from him and she began to rake the leaves herself, "Why is Kitty in a bad mood with you."

             Remy shrugged again, wincing at the pain, "Because I kissed her."

             Rogue made a face, remembering it so vividly, as after all, it was only yesterday, "what's the problem with that?" she asked.  "I thought she wanted to be kissed, isn't that why she was going out with you in the first place?"

             "She thought it was insensitive of me to kiss her in front of you, I guess," Remy took the rake back, their hands touched briefly, her thick lace glove under his bare hand, they looked at each other.

             "I wasn't bothered by it," Rogue lied, she held onto the rake still, her hand near his.  She quickly glanced towards his red and black eyes, and felt strangely entranced.

             Remy gave another shrug, wishing the pain in his back would just go away.  

             "Kitty's in a bad mood with me too, I guess she's just a bit messed up from having her brain scrambled," Rogue shrugged.

             "Speaking of scrambling, did you find Jared?" Remy asked coldly, he pulled the rake from her grasp and began to work at the leaves again, still recoiling at the pain.

             "I didn't look…" Rogue trailed off, she watched Remy, "aren't you getting sore?" she asked, "You're not meant to be working yet…"

             "Pain doesn't bother me…" he retorted, still raking.

             Rogue reached out to touch his back in a comforting gesture, she needed to be gentle with him, he seemed on edge, "Remy…"

             He pulled away almost as quickly as her fingers had brushed against the fabric of his t-shirt, "don't," he said coldly, he wanted to tell her to never touch him again, because it only gave him false hope.  Instead, the words came out differently, "it's sore…"

             Rogue moved over to his back, "let me see…" her voice was slight, she took a hold of the hem of his t-shirt and raised the fabric up, she wasn't prepared really, for how bad the bruise on his back actually was, it was slightly yellowing, but for the most part, it still looked pretty painful, "oh my god," she whispered.

             "Just goes to show how human I am," he mumbled, leaning against the rake for support.  "I get hurt like everyone else."

             Rogue felt tears sting at her eyes, it looked so painful, she couldn't imagine how much it must have been hurting him.  She'd been ready to hand over the necklace still hanging around her throat, but now, seeing the contusion before her very eyes, it made her feel so different, almost protective of him, she couldn't explain it. 

             "Remy, you shouldn't be raking leaves like this…" Rogue gently brushed the tips of her gloved fingers against his bruised flesh, a tender and loving touch.

             It was that touch that made Remy so weak, and he pulled away, "don't…" he whispered, "don't touch me that way…" he turned towards her, pulling his T-shirt back down slowly.  "If you got no intentions of comin' back to me, I don't want your touch remindin' me of that…"

             Rogue blinked her tears back, "it's not that simple…"

             "I love you, you love me, can't get any simpler than that.  Anything else is just minor details," he commented, still leaning on the rake.

             Rogue looked away, "I also love Jared."

             "Because he can offer you MutantX?" Remy sneered, his dark eyes found her dark green eyes for one moment, before she looked away.  He watched her expressions change, she was brooding, her black and white hair stirred in a gentle October breeze.

             "I never took it," she stated calmly

             "Must be love though, huh?  'Say it with drugs'," he shot at her viciously.

             "Don't stand there and talk to me about drugs, Remy.  It was YOU who handed me liquid MutantX in the first place."

             "I wasn't thinking straight," Remy responded, turning away to rake more leaves.

             "You never do."

             "And Jared does, does he?  Of course, he thinks straight enough to psychically scramble your best friend," Remy responded, "and I swear, if that fucking cunt walks into this place again, I'm not gonna be responsible for my actions."

             Rogue frowned, "what is that supposed to mean?!"

             "It means if he sets foot in these grounds, I'll kill him," Remy stated, he held on tightly to the pole of the rake, knuckles turning white.

             "You're not capable of murder," Rogue stated.

             "Am I not!?  You seem to forget I almost killed the guy who raped you, and if you and Kitty hadn't come to stop me…" Remy reminded.

             "Then you'd be dead too!" Rogue pointed out.

             "Look, Rogue, I don't have time to argue, it's getting dark!" he gestured, "I still have a lot of ground to cover," He looked away from her, eyes glassy.

             Rogue looked up to him, "I know about Carmel."

             Remy spun around and looked at her, "what?" his voice faltered.  The mention of Carmel's voice brought to life the dread in himself he had not thought of since yesterday.  

             "I…I have your email password, you never changed it when I gave it to you, and I logged in to your email…" Rogue drew her breath.

             Remy's mouth dropped, eyes wide.  He couldn't believe it.  She'd been in his email, she'd been sneaking around his personal email…wasn't this the very thing she wasn't meant to do?  How could she have preached about trust in the past and then gone and done this?

             "She wrote you…she seemed mad because you fucked her and left," Rogue said, "and you've had opportunity to tell me about it – but you didn't."

             "Why should I?  You're Jared's girlfriend, not mines," Remy retorted, feeling it was more or less right, how could Rogue tell him off for having slept with someone while she was cavorting with Jared.

             "See, shit like this is exactly why I don't want to take you back, Remy…" she said, "I knew you had to have fucked someone else, I just knew it, because you can't keep your hands to yourself for two minutes.  And it would have happened even if we hadn't broken up!"

             Remy turned and looked at her, "Shit like that happened because YOU more or less ditched me for someone else.  And I assure you if we Hadn't broken up it would have NEVER happened…I value your love more than a quick romp with a stranger."  
             "You made me leave!" Rogue said, one tear escaped, she swiped it away before he had time to see it.

             "And I'm sorry!" Remy yelled at her, his voice so loud it hurt as he shouted, "I'm sorry I fucked up!! I'm sorry I slept with Carmel, I'm sorry I kissed Kitty, I'm sorry I made you leave and I'm sorry I'm in love with you!  I'm just really sorry, okay!?" he threw the rake down, "I don't know how many times I can say I'm sorry, and mean it, and make you realise I am!" he yelled at her, spittle flying from his mouth, "I'm SORRY, okay?!" he was so mad he was shaking.

             Rogue looked slightly alarmed, her green eyes wide, catching the last remnants of sunset, a slight orange-pink light beaming on her face, lighting her eyes so that they seemed deeper than he'd ever seen them.  "Why…with any other girl but not me…" she trailed off, "why some stranger, why not me?" her eyes began to tear up again.

             "Because its you!" Remy turned away, he leaned on the rake for support, the pain becoming so excruciating he could barely stand anymore, "when you're with me I'm sated!"

             Rogue held her breath, she could see he was having trouble standing, she wanted to help him, but right now she knew if she went near him it was going to end up in an explosion of emotion from him that she'd never be able to handle.  "Remy…" she said, in a very timid voice.

             Remy turned and looked at her, eyes seeming empty, and dull, the red glow almost seemed to vanish to a dingy dark brown, he swallowed, trying to control his temper with him.  All he wanted was her back, and his anger wasn't helping things.  He was concerned that maybe the pain in his back was making him use anger to negate the agony.

             Rogue slipped the cross necklace off of her neck, and she walked over, took his hand, and dropped it into his open palm, the chain making a soft chink as it landed.  He looked down to the cross, then to her, but she'd already turned and begun to walk away, up the porch and disappearing into the mansion.

             Words couldn't have expressed the despair he felt right then.  He silently pocketed the necklace, and forced himself to rake the leaves again, deciding he wouldn't stop until complete darkness fell, and was in so much pain that he collapsed.


	4. Chapter 4: Briefing

Chapter 4:  Briefing

             Two days passed, and everything seemed somewhat silent and sombre in the mansion between Remy and Rogue, they ignored each other as much as possible, which wasn't difficult.  Rogue would pour herself into her studies, danger room training, and Logan's martial arts lessons, while Remy would spend his time avoiding Hank's strict rules of rest and relaxation when all he wanted to do was some physical labour and find a way to distract himself from the thoughts that were constantly running through his head.

             It seemed this time it truly was over.  The cross Rogue had once cherished so much now lay in a drawer in Remy's bedside cabinet, beside the tobacco tin she'd given him for Christmas.  

             Halloween arrived, and in the morning, all residents of the mansion were called into a briefing, something that Ororo and Logan had decided would benefit everyone on at least a weekly basis, to keep up to date with everything.

             The war room – where most of the X-Men's planning was done – was in use for the briefing, and everyone sat around the round table, it had been the first briefing in a very long time.

             "Thank you for all coming promptly," Professor Xavier said, he sat at the table in everyone's view, he sat straight and proud, he looked wide awake and alert, everyone else around the table looked half asleep.  "Logan and Ororo feel that a weekly briefing every Friday morning at seven might benefit you, so that you can discuss important team issues, or any other things…"

             "How long do these briefings need to last?" Jean asked, her elbows were propped up on the table, she was listening intently.

             "For as long as it takes to discuss important issues," Professor Xavier replied.

             Remy leaned back in his chair, wincing at the pain, at least it seemed the pain was slightly easing away.  He glanced across the table, Rogue looked as if she hadn't brushed her hair yet, her makeup slightly smudged as if she'd gone to sleep with it on rather than having applied it fresh that morning.  He tried to pay attention to what the Professor was saying, but his thoughts were constant on the incident where Rogue had given him back the necklace. 

             When Rogue raised her eyes from the table top to glance at Remy, he looked away from her, his face flustered, his expression sad.  Rogue felt pangs of guilt, and kept her eyes averted from him there on.  

             The meeting dragged on, the X-Men brought up various issues regarding Danger Room sessions, school lessons, and other such things.  Remy was losing the will to live, he would have rather been anywhere than sitting there listening to Jean's request for new uniforms, Amara's complaints about classes being too hard, and Kurt's comments about the danger room sessions being too easy.  

             "Is there anything else anyone would like to bring up before we adjourn the meeting?" Hank asked, he was taking notes of things.

             "Yes," Rogue said, it had been the first time she'd spoken since having sat at the table.  All eyes turned towards her – except Remy's. 

             Remy pretended to find more appeal in charging up a pencil he'd found lying on the table, he absorbed the energy back into himself, then recharged it, watching as it glowed brightly.

             "Yes, Rogue?" Professor Xavier asked.

             "What's being done to find Jared?" Rogue asked quietly.

             Everyone looked at each other, and then to Professor Xavier.  Remy felt so angry, why did she have to bring this up again, especially in front of him, couldn't she have brought this up quietly in a one on one meeting with the Professor?  Remy glanced towards Kitty who looked away, her face slightly paling. 

             "I assure you we're doing everything we can," Professor Xavier stated, "Ororo, Hank and Logan have all done thorough searches of Bayville, we've contacted his family but no one has seen him, and even Cerebro can't find him unless he uses his powers."

             "I followed his scent up to Talbert Road, but from there the scent disappeared, which means he must have found transport," Logan said, his voice gruff.

             Rogue frowned a little, "isn't there more we can do?  Can't you telepathically find him?" Rogue asked.

             "I'm afraid I can't contact him.  It may be that he's so far away that I cannot contact him telepathically…great distances dampen my abilities," the Professor explained.

             "You're meant to be the most powerful telepath in the world but even you can't find him?" Rogue made a face, to her it felt like an excuse, as if they weren't looking, as if they didn't want him back.

             "Why would we want that loser back anyway?" Bobby asked, yawning a little, "He used his powers against Kitty – that's one of the rules here, isn't it."

             "Yes, Bobby," Ororo nodded.

             "What's that rule?" Remy raised an eyebrow, he couldn't remember having heard of it.  He hadn't really bothered to check about a lot of rules about living in the mansion.  He'd never been one for obeying rules in the first place.

             "Oh come on, LeBeau, haven't you even read the list of rules for the mansion?"

             "You know Gambit.  He doesn't live by rules," Kitty smirked a little, her face beginning to slowly return to its normal colour.

             "You don't use your powers against another mutant in the institute…" Amara preached wisely, "its rule number one."

             "But I see you guys do it all the time, prankin' each other," Rogue shot angrily, "I don't see how that can be acceptable but this isn't."

             "That's different, we're talking about the difference between a prank, and tryin' to maim a team member," Logan stated haughtily. "What Jared Rickman did was deliberately brain-scramble Kitty, could have killed her, could have left her brain-dead, who knows, fact is, breakin' rule number one in the way he did is grounds for expulsion in extreme cases, and you don't get much more extreme than that."

             "This is true, Rogue," Ororo said softly.

             Rogue looked down to the table, her brow furrowing into a frown. "So you're sayin' even if he did return, he wouldn't be welcome."

             "We will cross that bridge when we come to that, Rogue," Professor Xavier stated calmly, "If we ever do."

             "Professor?" Amara cleared her throat, feeling a change of subject was in order, "we were wondering if maybe we – I mean Bobby, Jamie, Ray, Sam, Tabitha and I – can head out into the woods tonight for Halloween."

             Professor Xavier raised an eyebrow, "The woods?  What would you do there?"

             "Start a campfire, tell ghost stories, just have some fun," Bobby said, "we wouldn't be drinkin' or nothing," he said.  "Just some normal Halloween fun."

             Hank glanced towards Professor Xavier, "sounds like a reasonable request, Charles, I shouldn't see why not…"

             Professor Xavier paused for thought, "fine, but I want two people to chaperone, just to be on the safe side."  
             "Awww man…" Bobby made a face, "not the instructors!  They'll ruin everything!"

             Professor Xavier smiled a little, "Not one of the instructors, I know that would dampen your fun," he softly laughed, "any volunteers?" he looked towards the X-Men.

             "Busy tonight," Kurt responded, "me and Kitty are heading to a costume party held for charity," he explained.

             "Same here," Jean said, "Me and Scott bought those tickets a month ago.  We've been looking forward to it."

             "Rogue?" Professor Xavier glanced towards Rogue, "would you be willing to chaperone?" he asked.

             Rogue gave a sigh, "I guess," she said reluctantly, she wondered how much trust he held for her for this in the first place, she'd broken enough rules herself that it seemed as if she'd be the least likely candidate to chaperone the younger mutants.

             Remy also sighed.  He wanted to talk to Rogue, and this might give him just the excuse he needed to do it, "I'll chaperone also," he stated.

             "Remy, you're meant to be recovering," Hank warned.

             "I know," Remy said, "but sittin' in all day and not doin' anything is makin' me crazy.  Besides, it's not like I'm gonna have too much work, all you're wantin' is someone to make sure the kids don't set the woods on fire or get drunk," he pointed out.

             "Point taken," Hank smirked a little.

             Rogue looked most annoyed that he'd put himself up for chaperoning also, it meant they'd be put together.  Still it didn't mean she had to talk to him.

             "Well, alright," Professor Xavier agreed finally.  "Gambit and Rogue will chaperone, and I do not want you out in those woods any later than midnight," he stated, "if you're not back by then, there will be a severe grounding for all of you."

             "I'll make sure they're back by Midnight, Professor," Remy stated in a bored tone, he charged the pencil up again, then absorbed the power back into himself.

             Professor Xavier nodded, "I know I can trust you."

             "You're about the only one," Remy said coldly, he noticed Rogue shoot him a strange look from across the table, "Can we go now?  This chair isn't so good on my back," he added.

             "Yes, meeting adjourned, go to your lessons."

             The room emptied, Rogue caught Remy at the door, "why did you volunteer?" she demanded, her voice sharp and acidic. 

             "Because no one else did," Remy stated, "and because I got nothin' better to do."

             "Are you doin' this just to try and piss me off?" Rogue demanded, she looked up at him, he loomed over her in the doorway, his shoulders hunched forward slightly, back bent a little from pain, his brown hair unkempt, framing his chiselled face.  His deep set red eyes were dull beneath his low brows.

             Remy glanced at her, he drew his breath through his teeth, anger rising within himself, "No, I'm doin' it because I want to be more involved with the X-Men, and the recruits, alright?  Everything isn't about you," he lied.  "You better go for your lesson," he uttered, and with that, headed off in his own direction, wishing he hadn't let himself get so frustrated and mad at her, he couldn't help it, she was fuelling his own anger with her attitude towards him.  He hoped by tonight they would get it settled once and for all.


	5. Chapter 5: You Still Love Me

Chapter 5:  You Still Love Me

             "…and then he said 'check the children', and the phone went dead…and she ran up the stairs but it was too late…" Samual Guthrie was sitting on the ground near the campfire, using a firm but very creepy tone to tell a scary story.

             "Oh c'mon, that's an OLD story, can't you at LEAST come up with something new?  You told that LAST Halloween!" Bobby Drake made a face.

             Remy was standing leaning against a tree in a clearing of the small woodland area on the mansion's grounds, watching the scene, the younger mutants sitting in a circle around a small campfire, telling stories, sharing soda and potato chips.  Remy wished he had the enthusiasm to join in, but with two hours to pass until his twenty-first birthday, he barely felt his involvement would be wanted amongst the teenagers.

             "What time is it?" Rogue wandered over, her voice weary, she seemed bored.  She was clad in a long, black woollen coat, buttoned up tight around herself, her hair tied back tightly from her face, her ponytail swinging in the wind.

             "Ten," Remy responded, "got 'til midnight," he replied, he took a pack of cigarettes out of his hip pocket, put a cigarette to his mouth, and lit it.

             Rogue looked at him with much disgust, "I thought you quit," she said, she leaned against the nearby tree, hands deep in her pockets.

             "I quit for you, but since me and you aren't a 'thing' anymore and since doesn't seem like there's much chance we're gettin' back together, I don't think it matters anymore, really," he admitted with a nonchalant shrug, he exhaled through his nostrils, two thin streams of smoke disappearing into the night air.

             Rogue shook her head in disbelief, "you're gonna die one of these days, cancer or something."

             Remy shrugged again, he looked away from her, "I know we been through a lot this last year, Chere, but for tonight, can we please just get along as friends, teammates or even just acquaintances?" he requested, "I have no wish to argue."

"Fine," Rogue responded quietly.

 Remy looked away, "wish I was their age again," he gestured to the younger mutants who were out of earshot, they were laughing together. 

             Rogue watched him, he was swathed in darkness, but the glow of the end of his cigarette stood out against the blackness, the light from the nearby fire barely casting any light upon either of them.  "Why?"

             He shrugged, "I don't know, I guess there's some things in life I'd like to do differently."

             There was an awkward silence.

             "In a few hours I'll be twenty-one…I'm already a man but…twenty-one seems like a ten year jump rather than one," he admitted, "and in truth…I feel so much older," he sighed unhappily.  "Ever since I was twelve, been robbed of my childhood.  What I'd give just to be able to have it back again…" he looked up to the sky, watching the smoke from the campfire rising.  

             "I know what you mean," Rogue responded after a moment, her voice soft, "I never had much of a childhood either…" She gave a sigh as well, and chewed the inside of her cheek, she was running out of things to say, "wow…I had totally forgot about your birthday y'know."

             "Was a year ago tonight that me and you found out about MutantX," Remy said, "remember?"

             "How could I forget," Rogue pursed her lips together tight, eyes darting to check on the others, making sure the ones she was meant to be chaperoning were still behaving themselves, and it seemed they were.

             Remy tossed his cigarette way, and walked over to her, he placed his hand on the bark of the tree she had her back against, and leaned in towards her, gazing at her through the darkness, the whites of her eyes glinting in the moonlight, "remember after midnight on that night…me and you were watchin' a movie…you fell asleep with your head on my shoulder," he murmured.

             Rogue glanced up at him, "the night you wished on the candle in the jack o' lantern," Rogue looked down sheepishly, "remember what you wished?" she asked, her voice becoming emotional, timid.

             "That I'd never do anything to hurt you…" he sighed, "and I did."

             "You believed you wouldn't…even I did," Rogue chewed her bottom lip, she glanced up to the sky.

             Remy leaned in a little closer, his nose almost touching hers, "I sat there all night watchin' you, thinkin' I must be the luckiest guy on the face of the earth to have found someone like you, someone who was willin' to take me after everythin' I'd done, after everything we'd both been through," he said softly.

             Rogue swallowed, she finally raised her eyes to his, in the darkness he almost seemed to have no eyes, only two dark endless hollows where they would be.  She shuddered a little, not from the cold, but of the feeling of his breath soft upon her face, upon her mouth, a mouth that for over a year she'd longed to kiss.

             Remy quickly glanced towards the young mutants, making sure they were all still there, satisfied they were all right, he glanced back towards Rogue.  "I've screwed up, you've screwed up, no one's perfect, but we still care for each other, I can see it in your eyes."

             Rogue tried to pull away, "its over," she said, "I gave you the necklace back, its done, we're over."

             Remy felt exposed to the eyes of the younger mutants, he sighed, pulling her behind the tree a little more so they were hidden, "we are not over…you mighta thought the necklace would finalise it, but it didn't.  It doesn't STOP the feelin's from bein' there…you love me…you STILL love me," he murmured, "please…one more chance…that's all I'm asking."

             "I've given you too many chances…"

             Remy stepped so close to her that his body was pressing against hers, their lips were so close, their breaths against each others mouths, hot and uneven.  There was a strange energy in the air between them, Rogue could feel the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end, Remy could feel it too.  "One more…" he whispered, "its all I'm askin'."

             "We're meant to be watching the kids…" Rogue swallowed nervously, despite her reluctance to be in this conversation with Remy she couldn't pull away, and she longed to feel those lips against hers.

             "Marie, please…" Remy moved so his mouth was near her ear, he whispered, "one last chance…and if I screw up…I'll leave the X-Men, and your life for good."

             Rogue closed her eyes, his breath soft, warm and ticklish against her ear, a strange pleasure seemed to come with it, making her feel weak, she reached to hold on to him to steady herself, "not now…" she whispered, "the kids…"

             Remy glanced around the tree, he counted them all, "they all there," he assured softly, "please…" he murmured, "all I'm askin' is just one chance."

             "What about Jared?" Rogue looked at him, "I'm still technically with him."

             "You were still technically with me too, when you ditched me for him," Remy said, "Chere, Jared STOLE you from me…he preyed on your vulnerability."

             "Isn't that what you're doing now?" Rogue asked softly.

             "I'd do anythin' to get you back…even if it means…havin' to be honest about somethin' else," Remy looked her right in the eyes, "it…won't be what you want to hear, but you should know it…and I don't want you to be mad with me."

             Rogue looked at him concernedly, "what have you done…"

             Remy swallowed nervously, "me…and Kitty…" he began.

             Rogue looked alarmed, "Please don't say you slept with her…" Rogue trailed off, "Please…if you say that, it'll be more than I can take…" she looked away, her eyes glazing over, even in the darkness he could see they were to become watery.

             Remy put his hands up his defence, "No…" he moved back a little, hoping to god what he was about to tell her was not going to get him rejected much further.  "It's not that."

             "Then…what is it…" Rogue looked at him.

             Remy sighed, "Maybe I shouldn't tell you," he then decided, "if I do…might ruin our chances of ever bein' together."

             "How can you expect me to want to be with you if you won't tell me?" Rogue pointed out.  Suddenly, everything she'd thought about letting go of him turned around, she wanted to hold on desperately.   "You promised before you'd never lie to me, that you'd tell me anything I want to know…tell me…"

             Remy drew his breath, fine…I'll tell you, but please…don't get mad…" he pleaded of her, "Me…and Kitty, we were never into each other…" he gave in finally, winced as a harsh blast of cold brushed against his bare cheeks. 

             "What do you mean you were 'never into each other'," Rogue looked even more startled, her eyes growing wider, two glassy white orbs contrasting against thick eyeliner and eyeshadow.  

             "It was an act…to get you back," Remy shoved his hands in his pockets, he looked away, "my idea, not Kitty's," he added in a lie.  He felt although this was a lie, it couldn't harm Rogue to not know.  The last thing she needed was to know her best friend had come up with the idea of the jealousy dating.  

             "You…what…?" Rogue wasn't sure she was hearing right.

             "Please don't make me say it again…" Remy glanced around the tree, making sure the others were still there, he counted them, yes, all there, still laughing, still having fun.  He wished he were laughing with them rather than hurting Rogue again.

             "You…you…" Rogue was stammering, trembling with anger, her breath coming out in strange uneven rasps.

             "Chere, be steady, breathe…" Remy took hold of her shoulders looking at her, "please…breathe, don't let yourself take another panic attack."

             Rogue pushed him away, "you fucking asshole," she screamed at him, "it's because of you he left!"

             Remy looked at her, dumbfounded, "wait a minute, I didn't FORCE Jared to leave, he left of his own accord!  I had nothin' to do with it."

             "You were the reason we were fighting!" Rogue swung a fist at Remy, he caught her arm, she tried to swing the other, he caught it again, trying to hold her back, her strength was becoming more than he could cope with.  The pain in his back – which he'd almost forgotten about – was beginning to become extreme with the force he was putting into holding her arms back.

             "You asshole!" Rogue screamed, "You couldn't see me happy!" she struggled with him, "let me go!"

             "Calm down, the others will hear!" he hissed at her.

             "I don't care!" she broke free of his grasp finally, and she swing her hand in his direction.  The punch used some force, she wasn't sure if she meant it or not, he swung around, staggering.

             Remy had never been hit with such force by a woman, never.  She'd hit him before, sometimes it hadn't even been deliberate, and sometimes it had been, but nothing could have prepared him for the pain, nor the sudden dizzy feeling that followed her right hook to the cheekbone.  His vision felt suddenly hindered, his balance lost, he fell onto his side, the soft earth, dried leaves and sharp twigs under his skin.  "Chere?" he managed to mumble in pain.  He felt as if his brain were shutting down, everything became black.

             Rogue gaped, she couldn't believe she'd hit him the way she had, she watched him fall, she heard the thud, and the snapping of twigs as he hit the woodland carpet, "Remy…?" She asked in a timid voice.  "Remy…get up…" tears formed in her eyes, "c'mon…get up you ass, it was a punch, you can't have been hit that hard…"

             "Rogue…is everything okay, we heard yelling…" 

             Rogue turned, Bobby and Sam were standing looking most confused, they shone a flashlight on Remy.

             "What happened to him?" Sam asked concernedly.

             Rogue wiped her tears of panic, "nothing, he'll be fine…go back and have your fun, I'll take care of it…"

             As Sam and Bobby headed off Rogue raised Remy up, tears streaming down her face.  She wasn't sure she'd be able to forgive Remy…and now, she wasn't sure if she was able to forgive herself.


	6. Chapter 6: Send the Pain Below

Chapter 6:  Send the Pain Below

             When Remy came to, the first thing he was aware of was the throbbing on the left side of his face, he stretched his mouth and put his hand to his face, gingerly touching the cheekbone the pain was coming from, he winced, "fuck…" he whispered.

             He sat up, leaning back against the nearest tree, Rogue was sitting nearby against another tree, her view set on the younger members.  When she heard his voice, she turned, and looked at him, "you've been out cold an hour…"

             Remy rubbed his face, the memory of what had happened was vague, all he remembered was being hit, he could barely believe he'd been out cold for an hour.  

             Rogue looked at him, "something wrong?" she could tell my the expression on his face his mind was working overtime. 

             "You…hit me," Remy said, "I don't mean like one of your play hits, I mean…you actually fucking hit me…" He winced at the pain up the left side of his face, he ran his fingers across his cheek, he could tell the flesh was swollen, and the area around his eye seemed to be swollen also.

             Rogue was hugging her knees, "I know."

             Remy got up slowly, feeling slightly unsteady, "did it make you feel better then?" he asked he walked over slowly, holding his face.

             "Not really.  I didn't mean to hurt you, I just…"  
             "Didn't know what you were doing?" Remy finished her sentence for her, he glanced towards the campfires, everyone was still there, they were all singing a Halloween song.

             Rogue stood slowly, "you made me mad…I reacted…I…"

             Remy shrugged, "forget it."

             "Remy, I hit you…and you want me to just forget it?  I could have killed you…" she placed her hand on his shoulder carefully.

             He shrugged her hand off of his shoulder, "maybe you should have killed me, woulda done us both a favour, non?" he sighed.

             Rogue looked at him, "don't talk like that."

             "How do you want me to talk?"

             "I don't know, okay," Rogue sighed and turned away from him, "You're not making this easy on me."

             "And you aren't making it easy on me either, Chere!" he raised his voice at her, he looked straight at her, "I can't be within two yards of you without bein' reminded of every little mistake I ever made!"

             Rogue held her breath, she didn't want to lose her temper again, "it's not my fault you've made so many mistakes, Remy.  And screwing around with other women, and then pretending to be dating my best friend to win me back are about the worst mistakes you can make."

             "Don't you think I know that?" Remy asked, "but doesn't the fact that I pretended to date Kitty SHOW you how much I want you back, I mean, jesus, this is KITTY we're talking about here," he pointed out.  "I'm no more attracted to Kitty than I'm attracted to Logan's hairy ass!" he remarked.

             "That's not funny," Rogue folded her arms.

             "It wasn't meant to be.  Doesn't the fact I went with her prove how far I'd go?  I kissed her to make you jealous…"

             "It didn't work," Rogue frowned, her eyes averted.

             "Yes it did, because then you and Jared started arguing…so it did work, you were jealous…you wanted me back…I bet that's what you were arguing about."

             Rogue frowned, she hated it when he was right.  She would have given anything to have the strength to lie and say no, but then that would make her just as much of a liar as she decided he'd always been.

             "I want you back, I don't care if you gifts back, I don't care how many times you hit me, I don't care if I can never make love to you the way I want to, or if I can never kiss you, or if I can never have children with you…"

             Rogue felt a lump forming in her throat.

             "I want to be with you…" Remy said, "I'll would give anything to be with you, chere…I won't hurt you again…I swear this time, Chere."

             "You swore the last time you never would, Remy!" Rogue yelled, "and yet a month later you were screwing Bella Donna!  And now you've fucked some other girl…and—" Rogue clenched her fists in frustration, "my life was vaguely normal until you came barging into it, Remy!  No seventeen year old girl should have to go through what I've gone through.  And if I let you in again you're going to repeat the whole damn thing over again, you'll betray me, you'll lie to me, you'll sleep around!"

             Remy looked at her, "I already been truthful with you, isn't that proof that I want to stop with the lies?" he asked, "And…I would never sleep with any other woman…ever…" he hoped his words would absorb into her, and sink in.  He meant it.  If she'd only be with him, he would never want to be with anyone else, all he needed was her.  

             "How do I know that?" a single tear trickled down her cheek, glistening in the light from the nearby fire, which with more wood burning on it, had grown larger, the light spreading across the clearing and to the circle of trees, the small patch where Rogue and Remy were standing.

             "What do you want me to do to prove it, Chere?  Tell me?" Remy looked at her, "my word is not good enough," he sighed, "so what can I do to convince you?"

             Rogue sniffed, "there is nothing…you can't prove it, and I can't believe you."

             "I can prove it…" he swallowed fearfully, "I…I would castrate myself if that would convince you…" he said, his voice serious, he looked at her, he felt a nervous lump forming in her throat, he meant every word, and as scared he was of that very thing, he knew if it took that to keep Rogue by his side, he might have to comply.  "If I don't have the organ, I can't betray you with another woman…" he looked at her, his eyes full of fear, but a secret rage.

             "You're lying," Rogue shook her head, "You'd never.  You couldn't hurt yourself like that…you wouldn't," she pushed her ponytail over her shoulder absently.

             Remy reached into the pocket of his black leather trenchcoat, he pulled a swiss army knife out of the pocket, "I could," he looked down to the knife, his hair was stirring furiously in the wind.

             "Remy, don't," Rogue looked at him, her voice began to grow quieter, she could feel her tension rise, he surely couldn't be serious, he surely wouldn't castrate himself to prove a point.

             Remy pulled the largest knife free of the casing, "you want proof…" he looked at her, "this might be the only way I can prove to you how serious I am…how I'd hurt myself for you…"

             "Remy don't!" Rogue cried at him, "this isn't funny anymore."

             "It isn't meant to be funny," he stepped behind the tree, he unbuttoned his jeans with one hand, still holding the knife in another.  "This is even less than I deserve…" he added, his voice sounding suddenly angry, frustrated with himself, and the situation, but the belief that if he did this one thing, it might make everything right.  The hope that it would pushed him onwards.

             "NO!" Rogue gaped, "You are not going to cut yourself to prove a point, Remy!" she felt panicked, her heart was thudding in her chest, she felt a cold sweat beginning to form on her brow, she was trembling even more.  

             He drew his breath, he unzipped the jeans.

             "NO!" she screamed, she rushed over, catching both his wrists and pressing them upwards, pushing him towards the nearest tree, pinning his hands there, "how crazy are you?!" she demanded.

             He looked at her, trying to free himself from her grasp, "crazy enough."

             Rogue held his hands tight against the bark of the tree, "drop the knife."

             "No," he said firmly, looking her right in the eyes.

             "Drop the fucking knife!" she cried loudly at him, she didn't care if the others heard anymore, she struggled with him to get the knife.

             "Marie, stop it," he frowned, "I don't wanna have to fight you for my freedom," he struggled forcefully, the more he did so the more she pushed his wrists back against the bark, he could feel it digging into his bare hands, he gripped the knife even tighter.

             "I don't want a boyfriend with missing appendages!" she frowned at him.

             "What?" he asked, looking at her with much confusion, did she just say she was going to take him back?  Or was it perhaps just his temporary insanity speaking.

             "I'm not takin' you back if you're gonna turn into someone who self-harms himself because of me, Remy, I could never live with myself if you did."

             "That's rich," Remy looked at her, "are you forgetting you nearly killed yourself because of me?" he shot at her coldly.

             Rogue frowned, "Remy, I'm serious, you're scaring me, please just drop the knife…" her voice was becoming shaky again, she looked close to tears, "Please…"

             He let go of the knife, it dropped from his hand – which was pinned high up – and they both heard it land on the soft ground.

             Rogue let go of him and knelt down to pick the knife up, she folded the knife back into its place, she held it firm in her hand, she didn't want to pocket it, she knew Remy had some impressive pick-pocketing skills.  

             Remy rubbed his wrists, her grip had been perhaps a little too strong, he looked at her, "You should have let me, Chere.  Woulda fixed things, wouldn't it?" he asked.

             "No, it wouldn't have!" Rogue looked at him, she was beginning to worry about his sanity.

             "Where do we go from here?" Remy sighed.

             "We start over," Rogue said, "We have too much history to continue like everything is normal," she looked at him, "but this is it, Remy, I mean it…the last chance…if you screw up…you won't have to leave the X-Men, because I will."

             Remy looked at her, "I won't screw up…" he whispered.

             Rogue glanced to her watch, "it's midnight, we need to get the kids back."

             He leaned back against the tree, "aren't you going to hug me at least?"

             "No," Rogue said, almost in a cold tone.  "We're starting from scratch, we'll date, no hugging, no touching, nothing," she looked at him, "You're gonna work for it, LeBeau.  We both are."

             Remy looked at her, as much as he hated her cold tone, he admired her having enough guts to take a last chance on him, he had to admit, he wouldn't have blamed her if she hadn't.  She was more brave than he thought.  This time, he was going to have to make sure he didn't let her down.  

- The End (Or is it??????)


End file.
